Whoa omg idk????? I can see Rick and Jack or something heading to the bar to chill for awhile, so there’s that. Ummm, also if Jess ever files for a restraining order…jk, jk. But I feel like Rick would just be, “…wft” any time they meet. HAHAHAHAH
OMGGGG Rick and Charlie how are they even in the same like universe haha. Okay, so I guess coming into the bar would be the best place for them to meet? (Although tbh I don’t think that Rick and Jack would ever go back b/c the bar is just like ????? like idk how they stay in business tbh but yeah). And I can either see Charlie being like OMG COOL A COP or like ” … oh, shit I’m high right now.” Or probably even both haha.
"Thanks, my fiance thinks so too," Lily replied, smiling. She could never tell if guys were flirting, but she always threw out the "fiance" bit as soon as possible just in case. Even though she loved to get compliments. A lot.
"A professional, huh?" She cocked an eyebrow, feigning disbelief. "Well, be warned, my students are professional mess makers. They will definitely keep you busy. I apologize in advance.”
"Sawdust? That’s a handy trick. Guess you are a professional!" Lily said, this time truly impressed. She’d have to remember that. It looked like Charlie was going to be a much better janitor than his predecessor, an old grump who would rather sleep than clean - although, Lily couldn’t really blame him for that. She’d rather sleep than teach. And, truth be told, she frequently found excuses to do so. Nap time was her favorite part of the day, much to her students’ dismay.
"I’ve been teaching here for five years… so yes, I do know all the other teachers," Lily replied. That was sort of a strange question. "Um, I suppose I’m good friends with them. Some are kind of prudish though." She frowned, thinking of Mrs. Hennessy, who was a stereotypical school marm, frizzy grey hair and horned rim glasses and all. "But they’re all nice, for the most part, at least they are to the rest of the staff. And the fun ones are a lot of fun.”
Charlie laughed, “Messy little guys, huh? Alright, okay I respect that though. Work hard, play hard, that’s what I always say. Also, they make messes and I keep my job, so it’s all gooooood.”
"Good, good," Charlie said, more to himself than to Lily. "So, you know like … I don’t know … Jess Day that well?" He asked, "We’re kinda friends. Well, we are in that, you know, weird place where like I don’t know, I don’t want to say stalking because people just take that the wrong way these days, but like you know, just like checking up on her and she may, or may not, know it. But like, I think she’s really cool and all and I just think we’d be like, really good together, but I need something to like … break the ice? I don’t know if you could help me, but I’d just really appreciate it.” He paused, “Especially because Valentine’s Day is coming up and I thought I could do something really nice for her, to just let her know how much I care about her.”
Charlie couldn’t always navigate his way through this town: this place where he had spent his entire life — but he could guide you through the air vents at Paddy’s Pub in the dark. He started going up there to set traps for the rats (there were way too much of them around the bar and the gang was certainly violating more health codes than any of their customers would like to know — this one being the least of their worries) and ended up chilling up there and eating the cheese out of the traps.
He had been spending more and more time up there lately because of the guy who had died there three days ago. It had been up to Charlie to disinfect the booth where they had found him and although that booth had never been cleaner, he still felt like the guy was there. And if it wasn’t his body, it must be his spirit.
Charlie was convinced the bar was haunted and somehow the air vents seemed safer. Besides wouldn’t the ghost be trapped in the room where he died? Charlie wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.
The one thing that did draw finally draw him out, however, was a conversation he caught coming from below. He peered through the vent and caught sight of a young man who was drinking a beer and chatting on his cellphone. “The EMF readings were off the charts, dude. I’ve never seen a place that houses so many ghosts before. It’s like a freakin’ graveyard in there.”
That’s all Charlie needed. He opened up the vent in the ceiling that was right above his booth and jumped down (not so gracefully) onto his table.
"Did you just say ghosts?” He asked, loudly, a half wild look in his eye. Jumping down from the table he slide into the bench across from Dean,
"Dude, are you like … are you like a ghostbuster or something? Because whoa, that’s …. that’s way cool. Also," He leaned in closer, and whispered, "Also I think there may be a ghost here. I mean, like this guy died and I think he’s haunting the bar. You gotta help me, man.”
OMG YES THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED like just picturing Dean’s face when some crazed dude jumps out of the air vents and like HEARD THEM TALKING like OMG BEST. Like, “Ok, ~insert clever pop culture reference about air vents, what can we help you with?” And like basically it’d just be all
And he’d be like, “Dude, this bar? THIS bar? It might be haunted by the souls of past beers left to ferment on forgotten shelves, but…” Jk, jk.
THOSE PICS WILL FOREVER BE MY FAVORITE I CAN’T LOOK AT IT AND NOT LAUGH OK FLAWLESS EXPRESSIONS 5EVERRRR.
And right???!! Just another person Dean is like ~omg this town!my life what is air??? b/c of all the weird, haha. :DD Anyway, want me to start them or would you like to?? I’m down with whatevessss.
"Weird." Jess gazed up at the ceiling, flipping the switch again and again before, squinting, she realized her lightbulbs were missing. "Where…?" They had, afterall, been there only yesterday. She was just on the point of running outside to raid the janitor’s cabinet when he appeared.
Jess’s big blue eyes widened. ”Charlie…” As Jess had once told Nick, ‘It’s not exactly that I’m scared of him, but also, in another somewhat dissimilar way…I’m definitely scared of him.’ Not that she thought he meant any ill will, it was simply the fact that he didn’t seem, in clinical terms, completely stable to her and, as a result, she didn’t know what to expect. He also always seemed to know where she was or what she was up to and that was definitely creepy. Nonetheless, he was sweet enough, which was the reason she had ever reached out to him, in the first place - something she now regretted.
"I didn’t, um, expect to see you here…Or anywhere." For a moment, she wondered why it ever surprised her when he randomly appeared out of nowhere.
"Oh, you-No. N-n-n-no," Jess scrunched up her face. She’d never been good at confrontation and her answer was usually to start singing or making weird noises. However, she felt the need to help save any errant kids. After all, she’d once seen him screaming at his Little Brother, and that wasn’t something Jess could stand to see again. Not sure what to say she did, in fact, begin to sing: "Why would anyone do that?"
Stopping herself, she added, “You know, I always think that just…teaching by example and not actually, you know, talking to or touching or anyway approaching the kids is…the best…way to…teach.” She quickly pushed her lesson plans deep inside her bag.
Quickly hoping to change the subject, Jess put one hand on her hip. ”Astronaut, huh? That’s so…’To infinity and beyond!’” she cried, using her best Buzz Lightyear voice (it came up a surprising amount for Jess). ”Ummm, what do you do, exactly, when you’re not…lightbulbs…”
Charlie chuckled, “Gotta watch out. I’m everywhere. You think you are alone and BAM!” He shouted, clapping his hands together for effect, “I’m there. Always gonna be there for ya, Jess,” He said, pointing towards her, smiling and laughing, pleased with himself that he had just managed to prove how much he cared about her, not realizing that he came off as more of a deranged stalker than a potential suitor.
"Well, to each his own," Charlie said, when she tried to subtly convince him not to mentor the kids. Charlie took this hint as her trying to test him and he was not going to let her down: he was up for the task of teaching these kids how to live their lives and prove to Jess that they should get together. “I actually like a more hands on approach. Especially with the slower kids, if you know what I mean. Am I right? I just really wanna touch these kids, Jess. No, no I mean it. And you can quote me on that.”
Charlie stepped up onto the ladder and started to screw in the new light bulb, “Right? I mean I think stars are awesome. Especially because they are made by like my two favorite things: fire and trash. I’m actually very green by the way,” He said, “I know I could just take the trash from here and the bar and put it into a landfill where it’s going to stay for millions of years, but I’d just rather burn it up and get a nice smokey smell going and just let that smoke go up into the sky where it turns into stars.”
"And ‘let there be light’," Charlie said, in his deepest Morgan-Freeman-as-God voice.
"Oh, man. Well, I really like cats. And cat food. I mean, it’s disgusting but the right combination of cat food and beer will knock you out and you’ll get the best sleep of your life, swear to god.I’m also really good at killing all the rats at the bar and just keeping the place a nice and clean establishment for all of our patrons and I just hope I can continue to do that here," He said, lacing his fingers together, "I also am really interested in the law … and magnets."
Charlie was still in love with Jess, even though she had made herself very clear to everyone that she was not interested. But he was determined, and he would not be swayed. Recently, he had been performing a whole series of tasks to help her, such as chasing off people who might steal her bike, putting vitamins in her shampoo, and testing her food for poison. When he told her, she was not happy about the breach of privacy. He went so far as to break into her apartment and break things when no one was home, so he could offer to fix them. But that backfired because she’d just get Nick to fix it.
Charlie did not like Nick.
So now, he had to figure out a way to see Jess and what better way than to get a job at her school? When a part time janitor position opened up, he didn’t wasting anytime in applying. And with Mac’s help, he had managed to threaten any of the other applicants who were interested and the job was Charlie’s by default.
The night before he had taken all of the lightbulbs out of Jess’s classroom, so he’d have a reason to be there when she got there in the morning.
"Good morning, good morning. It’s a beauuuuuttiifffullll day! And I’m here to give you light!" He sang, throwing the door open dramatically as he entered the classroom.
"So, hi. I got a job. Here. Because I thought what’s better than shaping the youths of America? And I thought being an astronaut, because that would be fucking cool, but a little unatainable at the moment, so this is the next best thing. I’m thinking I’m going to take some kids under my wing, you know? And really mentor them. Share my life experiences and just … make the world a better place." He grinned at her, honestly convinced that this speech of his would make him seem more desirable in her eyes, instead of crazy. But since he was an unbalanced janitor, mentoring anyone would not a particularly good idea.
Lily sighed. “Washable paint, my ass,” she grumbled to herself as she aggressively scrubbed her cardigan in the classroom sink. Her least favorite student - she tried so hard not to have favorites but then some of the little angels turned out to be slightly demonic and did stuff like this - had decided to pretend to be some sort of paint-throwing monster. Ben Crane looked like a sweet kid, with big blue eyes, round little cheeks, and an adorable little bowl cut, but he was a holy terror in the classroom. Lily had told the secretary that Ben accidentally dropped some paint on the floor because she didn’t want to look like she’d lost control of her class and she didn’t want to scare off the janitor, but the truth was, the entire floor was now blue, with the exception of tiny little kindergarten footprints making their way to the door and slightly bigger Lily-sized footprints crossing to the sink. And, of course, her cardigan had Ben-sized handprints all over from where he’d struggled to steal back the paint that she’d snatched away from him as quickly as she could.
Lily looked up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice announcing the arrival of the new janitor. “Oh, hi,” she said sheepishly, quickly rinsing off her hands in the sink. “I’m Lily Aldrin… um, welcome to 105?” She sighed. “I’m so sorry about the mess. I swear we’re not usually this messy here.” At least, not in the other classrooms, she mentally added… this sort of thing was a semi-regular occurance for Miss Aldrin’s class. “We just had a bit of a paint accident,” she finally said as explanation. Understatement of the year. “But it’s a pleasure to meet you, Charlie!” she gave him a bright smile, hoping it would partially make up for the crazy mess the poor man was about to clean up.
"Lily, that’s a cool name. Like the flower," He said, almost impressed with himself, "That’s pretty neat. Okay, stand back. I am a professional," He said, motioning both of his hands to himself, "I spill paint all the time, dude."
"So, are these little rascals always so messy?" He chuckled, "Doesn’t matter, keeps me employed, right?"
"I always keep this handy," He said, shifting through his supplies where he pulled out a bucket of sawdust, "Picks up paint like that," He finished, snapping his fingers.
“Sooooo … how long have you been a teacher here,” He asked, “You, uh, you know all the other teachers and whatever??” He tried to sound as casual as possible, but it was coming off almost suspicious. “Like would you say you are pretty good friends with most of them?”