Sawyer’d just be like WHAT IS HAPPENING. Like, I can see him going to the bar or whatever and just meeting Charlie he’d be like, woooooooow. “Someone’s gotten pretty damned burnt,” basically. HAHAHAH

AHAHAH OMGGGG. ~like even if Charlie isn’t drunk/high, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna have that reaction tbh. ;DDD So Charlie and the gang are pretty easily scammed (there’s actually an episode where they are like “we know this is a scam and we aren’t gonna get sucked into it” and then they do hahah) Not that they have a whole lot of money between them, but if Sawyer wanted to make an easy buck, I can see where they’d all basically hand over all of their money like that, haha. 


Lily sighed and nodded in confirmation, “The messiest.” She shook her head. “But I’m glad that there’s an upside - you’re way less smelly than the last janitor,” she teased. 

Lily raised an eyebrow - apparently someone had a crush. “Borderline stalking, huh? Lucky for you, I’m somewhat of a former stalker myself - had to meet Marshall somehow!” She grinned. “And yes, actually, Jess and I are pretty close… we share some common interests.” No need to mention that the main common interest is beer… Lily thought to herself. “You know, for starters, what’s so hard about just talking to her, like you are to me? Jess ranks up there with me on the list of teachers with messy students - I guarantee you’re going to be called into her classroom sooner rather than later.”

I’m not as smelly as the last janitor?” Charlie repeated, “Wow, that must have been ripe. Oh man, my other job is as a janitor at a bar — you’d think I’d smell twice as bad. I did find some old cologne when I was taking out the garage yesterday, it smells pretty good though, right?” He asked, enthusiastically. 

But he was even more interested in what she was saying next, “Oh, man, we’re like … partners in crime, or whatever. Is Marshall like your boyfriend or whatever?” He asked, “Or … how’d that work out for you?” 

He paused, “Yeah, yeah … common interests.  Okay, so like … do you think she likes magnets? Because they are one of my favorite hobbies.”

(Source: spaghettipolicies)


Charlie Kelly + Cheese


Whoa omg idk????? I can see Rick and Jack or something heading to the bar to chill for awhile, so there’s that. Ummm, also if Jess ever files for a restraining order…jk, jk. But I feel like Rick would just be, “…wft” any time they meet. HAHAHAHAH

OMGGGG Rick and Charlie how are they even in the same like universe haha. Okay, so I guess coming into the bar would be the best place for them to meet? (Although tbh I don’t think that Rick and Jack would ever go back b/c the bar is just like ????? like idk how they stay in business tbh but yeah). And I can either see Charlie being like OMG COOL A COP or like ” … oh, shit I’m high right now.” Or probably even both haha. 

(Source: mattyberninger)


"Thanks, my fiance thinks so too," Lily replied, smiling. She could never tell if guys were flirting, but she always threw out the "fiance" bit as soon as possible just in case. Even though she loved to get compliments. A lot. 

"A professional, huh?" She cocked an eyebrow, feigning disbelief. "Well, be warned, my students are professional mess makers. They will definitely keep you busy. I apologize in advance.”

"Sawdust? That’s a handy trick. Guess you are a professional!" Lily said, this time truly impressed. She’d have to remember that. It looked like Charlie was going to be a much better janitor than his predecessor, an old grump who would rather sleep than clean - although, Lily couldn’t really blame him for that. She’d rather sleep than teach. And, truth be told, she frequently found excuses to do so. Nap time was her favorite part of the day, much to her students’ dismay. 

"I’ve been teaching here for five years… so yes, I do know all the other teachers," Lily replied. That was sort of a strange question. "Um, I suppose I’m good friends with them. Some are kind of prudish though." She frowned, thinking of Mrs. Hennessy, who was a stereotypical school marm, frizzy grey hair and horned rim glasses and all. "But they’re all nice, for the most part, at least they are to the rest of the staff. And the fun ones are a lot of fun.” 

Charlie laughed, “Messy little guys, huh? Alright, okay I respect that though. Work hard, play hard, that’s what I always say. Also, they make messes and I keep my job, so it’s all gooooood.” 

"Good, good," Charlie said, more to himself than to Lily. "So, you know like … I don’t know … Jess Day that well?" He asked, "We’re kinda friends. Well, we are in that, you know, weird place where like I don’t know, I don’t want to say stalking because people just take that the wrong way these days, but like you know, just like checking up on her and she may, or may not, know it. But like, I think she’s really cool and all and I just think we’d be like, really good together, but I need something to like … break the ice? I don’t know if you could help me, but I’d just really appreciate it.” He paused, “Especially because Valentine’s Day is coming up and I thought I could do something really nice for her, to just let her know how much I care about her.”

(Source: spaghettipolicies)

Charlie couldn’t always navigate his way through this town: this place where he had spent his entire life — but he could guide you through the air vents at Paddy’s Pub in the dark. He started going up there to set traps for the rats (there were way too much of them around the bar and the gang was certainly violating more health codes than any of their customers would like to know — this one being the least of their worries) and ended up chilling up there and eating the cheese out of the traps. 

He had been spending more and more time up there lately because of the guy who had died there three days ago. It had been up to Charlie to disinfect the booth where they had found him and although that booth had never been cleaner, he still felt like the guy was there. And if it wasn’t his body, it must be his spirit.

Charlie was convinced the bar was haunted and somehow the air vents seemed safer. Besides wouldn’t the ghost be trapped in the room where he died? Charlie wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.  

The one thing that did draw finally draw him out, however, was a conversation he caught coming from below. He peered through the vent and caught sight of a young man who was drinking a beer and chatting on his cellphone. “The EMF readings were off the charts, dude. I’ve never seen a place that houses so many ghosts before. It’s like a freakin’ graveyard in there.”

That’s all Charlie needed. He opened up the vent in the ceiling that was right above his booth and jumped down (not so gracefully) onto his table. 

"Did you just say ghosts?” He asked, loudly, a half wild look in his eye. Jumping down from the table he slide into the bench across from Dean,

"Dude, are you like … are you like a ghostbuster or something? Because whoa, that’s …. that’s way cool. Also," He leaned in closer, and whispered, "Also I think there may be a ghost here. I mean, like this guy died and I think he’s haunting the bar. You gotta help me, man.”


OMG YES THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED like just picturing Dean’s face when some crazed dude jumps out of the air vents and like HEARD THEM TALKING like OMG BEST.  Like, “Ok, ~insert clever pop culture reference about air vents, what can we help you with?”  And like basically it’d just be all


And he’d be like, “Dude, this bar?  THIS bar?  It might be haunted by the souls of past beers left to ferment on forgotten shelves, but…”  Jk, jk.


And right???!! Just another person Dean is like ~omg this town!my life what is air??? b/c of all the weird, haha. :DD Anyway, want me to start them or would you like to?? I’m down with whatevessss. 

(Source: spaghettipolicies)